The Silent Ones
by Irunic-Kori
Summary: "It's the silent ones who hurt the most, who suffer the most." The Team needs to save a girl from suicide. To stop her, Tony drops his mask, showing who he had hid for so long. Can Kate ease the pain of this new Tony that now seems like a stranger? TATE
1. The Girl on the Bridge

**Chapter 1: The Girl on the Bridge**

Kate came in through the elevator doors into the NCIS headquarters. She had hit heavy traffic that morning, yet she managed to still get in on time, although she thought she didn't make it at first, for she noticed Tony working at his desk. Seeing as he's always late, she thought she was incredibly late. She settled into her desk, completely astonished to not only see Tony truly working at his desk, but by not greeting her with a flirty, immature comment, or greeting her at all.

"Wow Tony, I'm shocked. You're not all 'good morning Kate, have a nice night with Mr. Amazing,' while tossing paperclips at me, even though I spent the night at home, reading a book?" she teased, seizing some control over him before he could take it himself. She expected him to make a witty comment on him arriving before her, but once again she was stumped. He just continued typing away at his computer, ignoring her. Either he was pissed at her, which was unlikely for she hadn't done anything, or he was planning a big prank in his head. Kate booted up her computer, ready to start the day's paperwork. "Tony?" Kate repeated, hoping to draw him out of this odd daze.

Tony looked up at Kate, his expression not faltering. He looked at her a brief moment before responding, "I'm sorry Kate, did you say something?" His tone was genuine, although he purposefully held an underlying hint of sarcasm, just for her.

Pulling up her file, she heard his response and assumed he was angry with her for some reason. "Why are you mad at me Tony?" she asked.

"I'm not mad," he responded looking back at his computer screen, "I'm just not in the mood today."

"In the mood for what?" Kate asked, completely confused.

Tony looked at her a moment before shrugging, "nothing. Don't worry about it," he mumbled.

Kate left it at that, not wanting to be a burden. She didn't get much work done, for Gibbs came into the bullpen. "Hurry up we've got a situation," he called, grabbing his gear.

"Dead body?" Kate asked, grabbing her own, as well as Tony.

"No, jumper."

Tony froze for a second, before leaving his gun on his desk, and speed walking down the stairs, completely ignoring the elevator. Kate, McGee, and Gibbs just stood for a moment, stunned for a moment. They quickly recovered and headed out the bullpen into the stairs as well; the elevator would take too long. "Gibbs, why are we assigned to a jumper, we're homicide investigators, not crisis negotiators."

"It's a sailor, and they need someone there to at least hold the situation down until crisis negotiators can get there," was Gibbs' simple response.

"But Boss," McGee interjected into the conversation, "what good are we if we don't know how to talk someone out of jumping?"

"We don't need to talk them out of jumping," Gibbs pointed out, "we just need to convince them to hold off until someone who can talk them out of it arrives on scene."

They made they're way to the car, seeing Tony pacing at the passenger side of the vehicle. "How long do you think we got?" he shouted, "hurry up, we might not get there in time."

"Tony don't say things like that," Kate scolded him, worrying what was making him act so differently. Gibbs unlocked the doors. Tony quickly took the passenger seat, McGee sat in back of him, and Kate in back of Gibbs.

"Kate do you have any experience in these types of situations?" he asked, staring at her with his piercing green eyes. She found that her response was stuck in her throat and couldn't come out. She dumbly shook her head and he broke his gaze, looking ahead, "I figured. You learn very quickly that every second is precious in these situations."

Kate could only stare at him in shock and awe. Here, Tony DiNozzo, the most immature, high school jock, who would throw paperclips and paper airplanes at her simply because he was bored, had the most stoic look of determination, as if he was on a mission. Getting caught up in her staring, she noticed a scar on his neck, two on his cheek, and another few hidden in his hairline. "Tony how'd you get these scars?" she asked, reaching over to graze her fingers over the one on his neck. She'd quickly regret it, for he immediately tensed and firmly grasped her wrist, before it could make contact. He gave her a look, which she automatically could understand as him telling her to back off. He let go, allowing her to pull back. Gibbs and McGee had no recollection of what was really going on. Tony was like a totally different person, and it was nerve-wracking to see someone you thought you knew so well, just suddenly seem like a complete stranger.

Gibbs turned onto a bridge and was stopped by police. The team saw a girl, ready to jump down to her death. Immediately, Tony got out the car and walked towards the girl, her long brown hair blowing as the wind whipped around her. As he got closer to the police, an officer tried to stop him, "stop! This is blocked off," he demanded.

Tony took out his badge, showing the officer he was on the case. "What do you know about her Officer?" Tony demanded.

"Nothing, just that she's in the Navy. We don't even have her name," the officer explained.

"Tony," Gibbs called, "here's what we're going to do."

"No," Tony interrupted, "you guys will stay here, I'll go and talk her down. Nobody comes up after me to confront her, I repeat, no one!" he ordered.

"DiNozzo, I don't think you understand who is in charge here," Gibbs threatened.

"Gibbs, I don't think you understand the severity of the situation here," Tony shot back, standing his ground. Even as Gibbs stared him down, Tony stood firm, sending Gibbs a powerful stare of his own. "DiNozzo's rule number 11: never, under any circumstance, interrupt or attempt to aid DiNozzo, while he is talking someone out of suicide. Think of it as your rule regarding interrogation, only if someone interrupts you, you don't get your information. However, if someone interrupts me, some poor soul dies," Tony spat in disgust.

"Never upset the chain of command DiNozzo!" Gibbs threatened, once again.

"Blow it out your ass Gibbs," Tony replied calmly, walking away to the girl.

Kate and McGee had never seen someone so authoritative before, not even Gibbs. They were literally speechless, and fearing the wrath Tony would get for telling Gibbs, Gibbs of all people, to blow it out his ass. "Well, what do we do?" Kate slightly stammered, still recovering from the shock of the whole confrontation.

Gibbs looked calmly at Tony as he walked with confidence to the woman on the edge. "Rule 11."

"What we're just going to stand here and do nothing?" McGee questioned, not believing Gibbs would back down so easily.

Gibbs continued to gaze after Tony, whom was slowing down as he neared the woman threatening to kill herself. He knew in his gut that Tony knew what he was getting himself into, and if he said to stand down, than he'd stand down. "Exactly. Why do you have a problem with that McGee?" Gibbs asked rhetorically.

"What I think he means Gibbs, is that it's Tony. Are you sure you can let him go through with this?" Kate asked, sticking up for McGee.

"Why? Do you think that Tony is less qualified to do this?" he asked.

"Yes! It's Tony, Gibbs, I mean, he's an overgrown fourteen year old who is the most immature being on the planet."

"Really now? Tell me Kate; look at that man walking to save that poor girl's life. That man who told us off, wouldn't back down, and is going on this alone. Is that what you see? An overgrown fourteen year old that is the most immature being on the planet?"

Kate looked at Tony, hard. What she read from him was nothing like what she had said. She felt a smash of guilt in her chest at saying such harsh words about a man who was about to attempt to save a woman's life. "No, he's confident, determined, and a little scared," she noted.

"Of course he's scared," Gibbs said, like he was stating the obvious. "If he says the wrong thing, gives off the slightest wrong type of body language, falters a tiny step…she jumps. Her life rests in his hands now."

Kate felt obligated to watch her partner in his most desperate moment, facing it alone. This is the hardest thing to do, Kate thought, when your friend is facing a life or death situation, and all you can do is nothing. Helplessly watching from the sidelines.

Tony cautiously approached the jumper, making sure not to startle her, yet if he was too far, she'd threaten to jump before he got close enough to talk to her at a conversational level, but if he got too close, she'd either slip and fall in surprise, or feel threatened and jump. "Excuse me," he started, gaining her attention, "may I ask why you're on the ledge like that Miss…?" he hoped she'd fill in on the name, but most of the time things aren't that easy.

"I'm going to die here today. There's no point in living in such a cruel world," she told him, tears flowing from her crystal clear blue eyes and onto her gray NAVY sweater, her voice shaken with fear.

"My name is Tony," he introduced himself, hoping that he could keep her talking. "What's your name?"

"What's the point?" she asked, looking down at the river below.

"The point in what? Living or telling me your name?"

The young woman, probably in her mid to late 20's, looked back at him, "both."

"I don't know Miss, you'd have to answer that yourself. I can help you though. As for telling me your name, well I think it'd be easier on us if I have something to call you by."

"My name is Mary, and you can't help me because I already know the answer: there is none, not for me."

"Why Mary? Why?"

"Why should I tell you? You don't care, you're just doing your job."

"If you don't want to talk to me, then why not talk to big guns upstairs," Tony said, referencing to God. "Just come on down."

"I don't believe in God," she said, leaning a little closer to the edge.

"Neither do I," Tony replied, "and I do care Mary. You know you remind me of myself a little."

"How can you compare the two of us?"

"If I tell you, you got to tell me a little about yourself, got it?" he compromised with a very small hint of playfulness in his voice, hoping it would ease a bit of the tension.

"I don't know," Mary trailed off, diverting her eyes from Tony and settling them at the sight underneath her.

"When I was sixteen, I was in this exact situation you are in," Tony revealed, a bit rushed, "I was useless, worthless, had no future, no reason to live. It seemed offing myself would just benefit the world. I was so close to jumping when a man named Greg found me. He was talking me out of jumping, much like I am doing to you now. At first I wouldn't listen to him because I wasn't worth saving. Eventually, he coerced me down, and now here I am, trying to do the same for you."

Mary just continued staring down below her. After a couple minutes of silence, she asked him, "how did he convince you that life was worth living?"

"Have a cup of coffee with me?" he asked, "we can talk about everything. Well I guess I'd be the one doing most of the talking about my experience. When you come down you tend to become very quiet for a little while. I don't know why, it's just kinda how it is," he admitted.

Mary turned and she focused her eyes on him once again, studying his eyes. Despite the tears threatening to spill from them, he gave off an aura of dedication and strength. She could feel the tears on her cheeks, desperately trying to make sense of why someone would go through so much to save a stranger. Her tears began to fall more often against her smooth skin as she began to shake her head, "no, no please don't open your old wounds for me. I'm not worth it."

She turned her head, lifting her foot off to get ready to jump. Tony acted quickly and spurted out the only thing that could keep this girl from jumping. "You're beautiful."

Mary froze in an instant, in a complete shock as to how to respond. "What?" she muttered.

"You're beautiful," Tony repeated, gently, hoping she would calm down.

She settled back onto the ledge of the bridge and looked at him, completely confounded. She wanted to understand the reasoning in this, "Why are you doing this Tony? I can't be saved."

Tony took a step towards her, this time shaking his head, "no, they're not old wounds. They've never healed. All I've been waiting for was to take my turn to help someone. If you jump, then I've failed to make anything of my life and I'll probably follow suit. However if you come down, that means my mission is over and I can go up or down, sacrificing my life for someone else's. No, no you're not the one that's being saved here," he took another step forward towards her. "Do me a favor," he pleaded, a tear coming down to stain his own cheek. Reaching out his arm for her, Tony emphasized, "save _my_ life."

Mary stared at his hand, finding herself drawn to it. As soon as she took his hand, he pulled her down and wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace, clutching her head to his shoulder. He guided them to a sitting position against the wall of the ledge she just came down from, as she began crying her eyes out on his shoulder, like a child who had just broken their arm. He held her firm; he'd be strong for her in her moment of weakness, for she'd need a crutch to learn how to walk again.


	2. The Café Confessional

**Chapter 2: The Café Confessional**

The Team and the police officers came rushing to them. When they reached Tony, with Mary still crying violently in his shoulder, the officer who stopped Tony reached out his hand to take Mary and get her to the ambulance that would send her to the psychiatric ward of the Bethesda Hospital. Tony, in reaction to the officer's attempt, shot him a glare that they all could clearly told them all to back off, or suffer the consequences. He held his glare until Mary stopped crying, so he softened his gaze to one of compassion and solemn.

"I'm going to take you to the hospital for a doctor now, is that ok?" Tony asked her slowly, doing all he can to keep her from any additional stress. Mary simply nodded in agreement. "I will not leave your side unless you want me to. At any point, if you wish for me to leave the room with the psychiatrist, let me know by grazing your left finger over either of my knees. Do you understand?" Mary again nodded. Tony stood up, taking Mary with him. She clung to his arm as he began to walk, making sure she didn't get too far away from him.

The officer who tried to take Mary to the ambulance spoke up, "wait, she needs to be taken by ambulance, it's protocol."

"I said I'm taking her," Tony said without looking back, or adding any emotion to his voice or demeanor.

"But," the officer spoke up, before being interrupted by Gibbs.

"He said he's taking her. She's navy, that means she's our liability."

The officer shrugged, "alright then, but if something happens, none of us are to blame."

"Exactly," Gibbs muttered, walking to the car.

Kate and McGee exchanged glances at each other before jogging back towards Gibbs. They entered the car, with Kate taking Tony's spot in the car. Since the hospital wasn't too far away, it seemed he would just walk her there. The whole incident seemed to change Kate's entire opinion of Tony. She hadn't known Tony had suffered so much that when he was young he'd wanted to commit suicide, and somewhat said that he had still considered it.

"Gibbs, did you know any of that back there?" Kate asked as they headed their way back to NCIS headquarters.

"Any of what?" Gibbs asked; making sure she was talking about Tony.

"Any of what Tony said. About his past; did you know any of it?"

"No, but why would I? You don't tend to tell people about that kind of stuff."

"Well, you're Gibbs!" Kate exclaimed, "you know just about everything!"

"Well, 'just about', just doesn't cut it."

"How could you have not thought anything was up with him? You can read through anyone," she rushed, clearly getting upset over Tony.

"Well, how could you not see through it? You're the profiler." Gibbs pointed out, in his usual hard voice.

Kate was speechless, how could she? How could someone with such a one-track, and predictable mind, fool her? How could he have set up such a perfect shield around him from the rest of the world, eluding everyone? "I guess I'm not as good as I thought," Kate concluded, almost in a whisper, staring at her lap.

"I guess you're not," Gibbs agreed, or so she thought. "Or maybe he's just not as dumb and predictable as he let on. Since he's been like this even when I met him in Baltimore, it's safe to assume that he could have perfected his alter ego from any cracks in the surface, so none of us could see past it. Plus he really committed to the act, so even his actions lied, at least from when he was around."

"Perhaps Abby knows, at least some of it? I share all my secrets and problems with her, and I've heard Tony share some of his with her too."

"Then we'll see Abby when we get back," Gibbs ordered, stepping on the gas.

"Two small coffees, one with cream and sugar, one with cream and no sugar," Tony ordered at a small café on the way to the hospital. Mary sat at a table, waiting for him to return with their drinks. He got the coffees, paid, and turned back, placing Mary's in front of her before sitting down across from her.

"Why did you want to kill yourself?" Mary carefully asked, very hushed.

Tony instantly perked up; it had been the first thing she said at all since he convinced her to come down. He took a deep breath, readying himself for what was to come. "My father was a big reason, my mother too," he admitted. "You see, my father is a very wealthy business man, and he always wanted control over something, or someone. He took a lot of the anger from failed business plans out on me. My mother blamed me for all her problems, citing I wasn't what she had wanted from a son. Both of my parents were alcoholics. It was when they had a quite a few drinks in them, which was just about every night, that the beatings and insults were the worst. My mother died when I was 10, cirrhosis, go figure," he added, sarcastically. "My father is still alive, I haven't spoken to him since I ran away when I was 12, which is when he completely cut me off," he finished. Every so often he'd break contact, and look off to the coffee in his hand.

There was a silence between them, and after a couple minutes of it. He looked back up to her, seeing as she held her contact solely on him. There were some tears in her eyes, threatening to spill down her face. "I'm sorry," she said, not knowing much else to say.

"There's nothing to be sorry for."

She looked at her drink, wondering what to say next. "How did that man convince you to step down?" she finally asked after some silence between the two.

Tony couldn't help but chuckle a little at the question. He tried to make eye contact, but he couldn't hold it for too long. He'd frequently catch himself staring at his coffee cup, and when he'd realize; he'd once again try to look her in the eye as long as he could until he'd suddenly realize that he was looking at the drink again, and would repeat the process. He took a deep sigh before answering. "I sorta took somethings from him," Tony admitted. "He asked if he could have a cup of coffee with me," he took another deep breathe, praying that he could keep his composure. "He was a heroin addict and said that he needed me to save his life, it wasn't him saving mine. He also asked me 'why' a lot, when I tried to convince him, and myself, that I was worthless. That's where the similarities end." He finally looked in her clear, blue pools and saw the shimmering glint of unshed tears, hiding within. "The not believing in God thing was all me, as was the playing innocent when I first confronted you. Also the part where I said 'you're beautiful'."

"Why did you say that? That isn't something that one would use in a situation like that," she mumbled, doing all she could to avoid the word 'suicide.'

"Well, how did you feel when I said that?"

"I felt good. It didn't hurt as much," she answered, staying as quiet as she could, while still being loud enough for Tony to be able to hear her.

"That's why I said It." she looked at him oddly, puzzled as to what exactly he meant. As if he read her mind, he elaborated. "What I mean is it does wonders for anyone's self-esteem, without possibly inflating someone's ego." He looked at her softly, lightly brushing her arm with his fingertips, as if she was so fragile that any pressure would break it. "Mary, everyone's beautiful in one way or another. Humans can be so cruel to one another that it can be devastating. Telling someone that they're beautiful will make them feel good about themselves in a genuine manner." He paused a second to longingly gaze at her hand. "Also, those words mean a lot more when a stranger says them. They hold much more power to them," he broke his gaze on her hand and stared deep into her eyes. He couldn't help but smile slightly at her.

She nodded in agreement with him. "Why don't you believe in God? At all?" she asked, that was the question that meant the most to her. It was the one thing she could connect with without needing Tony to elaborate on anything. Now she wanted to know why he had shared this trait with her.

"I was raised Catholic," Tony started; he'd need to tell the whole story for any of it to make sense. "When I was first learning my prayers, I'd pray a whole rosary everyday in school, hoping God would forgive whatever I had done to deserve such cruelty," tears began to threaten their way past Tony's eyes, but he fought them back, he promised himself he wouldn't give God, or his father the satisfaction. They weren't worthy of his tears. "I did that for years, I even did it in Latin from time to time. Then I was in 2nd grade and I'd be receiving my first communion soon. In order for you to receive your first communion, you must first perform your first confession. You see, we didn't do the whole go into the booth thing for our first confession. My class would get into a line, about 10 feet from the Father, and he'd take us one at a time for us to confess our sins. After a little while it was my turn, and what followed…I'll never forget it for as long as I live. I told him, 'forgive me Father, for I have sinned,' just as I should've. He permitted me to continue, so I told, word for word, 'I'm sorry for I have made Daddy angry with me. I'm sorry the only way to deal with me is to hit me until I can't see anymore, or I can't stay awake anymore, depending on if he had lost a hundred dollars or a hundred thousand dollars at work. I'm sorry I've made Mommy's life miserable because I exist. I'm sorry for messing everything up, and most of all, I'm sorry I'm a failure,'" Tony paused a moment, collecting his emotions from breaking free from their bindings. "I'll never forget the look on the priest's face, it was…of such shock, what he was surprised about, I still don't know. It could've been what I went through at home, or that I truly thought that I was at fault. Whichever one, I really don't care," Tony found he was about to lose track of his story, so he looked away from Mary's tearful eyes to the coffee cup, organizing his thoughts. When he finally collected everything together, he spoke up, voice quivering slightly at first. "After, after the priest said I had been forgiven, I just walked back to class. I didn't feel anymore relieved or cleansed, I literally felt nothing, nothing at all. Later that day, the police came and told my father that someone, the priest, reported to them that he and Mother were abusing me. My father was able to send them away, probably gave them a bribe." Tony cracked a wicked smirk and began shaking his head, "boy, let me tell you, I got it big time for the next month from both of them for telling someone." Tony's smirk faded and he stopped shaking his head. He stared straight into Mary's eyes with a piercing look of sadness in his own, "so pretty much I got beat to shit for asking for forgiveness from making them beat the fucking shit out of me. From that day forward, whenever I prayed, the beatings wouldn't just continue," Tony took a deep breath, hoping it would stiffen his backbone, "they'd be longer, and I'd get hit harder than before. After about a year, I renounced my faith in God. I couldn't believe in a god that would let that kind of stuff happen and not rescue them."

Now it was Mary's turn to take a breath of composure. Doing all she could to avoid his gaze, looking instead at her hands, her lap, and her coffee, she spoke up, her voice barely above a whisper, "I couldn't do anything to help those people, those children, I couldn't save a single one."

"Who Mary? Who couldn't you help?"

"I don't know they were strangers. When I was in the Navy, I worked as a field nurse in Iraq. One day, there was a bombing of a village near Baghdad, and I was one of the nurses called to help them. I failed. They all died…it's all my fault…"

"Don't say that!" Tony quickly snapped. "Don't ever say that again! Look I've heard some fucked up shit in my life, but that takes the goddamn fucking cake! There's no fucking chance in hell that was your fault." For a moment, Tony stared her down, letting his words embed themselves into Mary's brain. When Tony spoke again, he softened his tone. "Look, Mary, you should be proud of doing what you could to help them. You cared enough to keep trying, even though you knew it was a lost cause. You showed them a sparkle of humanity in this cold, dark, disgusting, fucked up world that we live in. you showed there can be good in this world, and I'm proud to say that I've met you."

"Thank you," Mary whispered, tears threatening to spill down her face, "I just wished I could've saved someone though."

Tony held her hand in his, a soft smile gracing his lips. "It's not too late to save me."

Mary began to cry. She now knew she had a purpose, to redeem herself as a human being. She could make up for the past by being the savior to this broken soul.


	3. It's the Silent Ones

Chapter 3: It's the Silent Ones

Kate sat in the bullpen pulling her notes together. She wanted to make sure that when she confronted Abby, she would know exactly what to ask, and how to ask it. If she faltered, Abby would probably not tell her anything she knew. The Team decided together that Kate would be the one to confront Abby on a process of elimination. First, they needed one person to do it alone, Abby would most likely tell them if they she wasn't being pressured with everyone being there. Then, they crossed out the squad members. McGee wouldn't do it because he couldn't extract information that well. That left Gibbs and Kate. Gibbs was eliminated because he was too forceful and would probably either scare, or piss off Abby into not telling.

"Going to check on Abby," Kate declared, grabbing the Caf-Pow! next to her. Gibbs nodded in acknowledgement and let Kate do what she needed to do. When Kate got to the lab, she was immediately astonished. First of all, there was no blaring heavy metal music, but ordinary volume level, soft acoustic music playing. Second, Abby seemed lost in though, swaying her head slowly to the guitar. "Abby?" Kate questioned, gaining Abby's attention.

Abby looked up, surprised she spaced out like she did. "Oh, Kate, sorry." Abby turned the stereo off, and then returned her focus on her best friend. "What do you need Kate?"

"First, I think you could use some of this," Kate smirked, handing Abby the caffeinated beverage, whom happily accepted the drink and sipped generously. "Second, why are you all in such deep though? Don't you have any forensics to run?"

"No, not today. I'm all spacey today because I heard about your case today."

"Oh, so do you know about what Tony said?"

"No, I just know he talked that girl down. Right before you came in, I was thinking aobut how Tony's state of mind is doing."

Could this be about what he said about suicide? Kate thought. "Why are you concerned Abby?"

"Well," Abby stopped herself before she got further. "Actually I shouldn't say, Tony confided in me."

"Abby," Kate pleaded, placing a soft hand on Abby's arm, "on that bridge today, Tony said that when he was 16, he tried to kill himself. I need to know what he told you so we all can get him the help he needs."

Abby's eyes widened, shocked to her Kate's confession. Apparently, Abby didn't know of this. "Oh my God!" Abby gently gasped. She took a long sip from her Caf-Pow! and placed the drink on her table. "He told me he was hurt by a lot of people in the past, and in return hurt a lot of people himself. When I asked him to go further, he brushed me off and said he'd tell me some other time. Next Friday he asked me to come over and we'd talk about it and hang out."

Kate was surprised. Tony never invited anyone over to his apartment, let alone even give an address. Gibbs was the only one who knew his address, and that was because Tony had it in his file. She realized Abby didn't have much information on Tony; so questioning her any further would be pointless. "Thanks for letting me know Abby. I should get back up to Gibbs though now."

Kate turned to walk away, but as she exited the door, Abby shouted, "Kate, hold on!" Kate turned around, half-expecting a plea or some more information. "He once told me '3, remember that number.' I hope you figure out what that means." Kate nodded in understanding and walked out, headed back upstairs.

Kate walked back into the bullpen, quickly headed for her desk. She heftily plopped herself down into her chair like she was nothing more than deadweight. She tightly shut her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose. After a moment of that, she let go and began to massage small circles into the sides of her head, desperately trying to combat the small headache threatening to invade her senses. When Kate looked up, she realized Tony still wasn't in since he was there with her that morning. Looking around, she saw that both Gibbs and McGee were also not in. she checked her watch, guessing that it was their lunch break. She was indeed correct, but was perplexed as to why Gibbs was gone too, Gibbs always stayed at the office until about a half hour after it was time to check out, unless of course there was a case he was working on. Also, Gibbs looked like he would want to know everything Kate discovered about Tony as soon as she got back. Whatever the reason, she was glad he wasn't here grilling her to give him the details, as she was still trying to digest the material herself.

Kate concluded that thinking more about it wouldn't get her anywhere, so she decided to get some work done. She wasn't hungry, even thinking about eating made her stomach turn. She got like that whenever she was worried, and it was only when she was truly worried about someone she truly cared for. She worried about all of them; Gibbs, McGee, Abby, Ducky, even Jimmy, but Tony, She worried about Tony constantly. Usually, she was able to convince herself that Tony could handle it; he was indeed a very strong person with a lot of experience. He was Senior Agent for a reason after all. Only problem was that this was different. How do you save someone from themselves? Kate wondered. She took a deep breath, steadying her quivering fingers.

Ever since Air Force One, Kate could feel the physical attraction between them, but she made it clear to herself that she wouldn't act on it. she greatly adored his eyes, the soft glimmer of pristine happiness that shined whenever he was acknowledged or given praise. He desired to be noticed. Tony was never a bad guy, really, even when he went through Kate's things. He never did it to be mean, invasive, or even to amuse himself; he did it because he wanted to be seen, to be given attention. It was why Kate always made sure she found out he did, she'd scold him and make a big deal about it instead of ignoring him. It wasn't her only reason though, she also took pleasure into seeing the sight of that unique sparkle within that glimmer in his eyes she saw whenever it was her who noticed him, like it was meant specifically for her. She never saw it when anyone else gave him attention, even Gibbs who, to Tony, was his idol. It made her feel special when she saw that sparkle, which is why she always drew Tony with his sunglasses on. She could never draw that sparkle, it was never breathtaking like the one Tony possessed. It was never Tony without his eyes, and they were never Tony's eyes without that sparkle. It frustrated Kate to no end that she couldn't draw his eyes the way she wanted, it truly did. It was perhaps the only time she was ever truly, deeply angry with him, for having such captivating eyes.

After Ari Haswari had infiltrated autopsy, when Tony had said those simple words that always struck chords in her heart; Falling in love, it could happen just like that, Kate replayed in her head, it was at that moment she realized she had feelings deeper than mere physical attraction. No, she may not have fallen in love with him, but she did like him more than a friend. As much as she wished she could start a relationship with him, despite even Gibbs' rules, she knew he wouldn't want a long-term deal, especially with someone he worked with, and a brown eyed brunette nonetheless. It killed her self-esteem knowing a guy like Tony, who was attracted to virtually anything, wasn't interested in her at all. Sure, she didn't want to be oogled at like a piece of meat, but it made her feel good about herself and her body when she made heads turn, when she saw she could have that kind of effect on men, and when a guy that was as painfully straight forward as Tony when commenting on a women's looks, didn't give her the light of day, it was like taking a slap in the face. Kate knew he thought she was, in his words, hot; but she believed that his words only applied to her breasts, which left her wishing she was prettier, slimmer, and dare she think it, blonder. Perhaps then he'd at least acknowledge her like she did him.

She pulled herself out of her daydream when she saw Gibbs and McGee walk back into the bullpen. She noticed that she had finished an unimpressive amount of her paperwork. She got so caught up in her thoughts, and now she would have to stay late to make up her work. Gibbs stopped in front of her desk, as McGee sat at his desk and began working.

"What did Abby say?" Gibbs asked, voice low to avoid arousing suspicion.

"She told me a few things, nothing that explains this whole dilemma. She said he told her that he's been hurt in the past, and he hurt others in return. She also said that he told her to remember the number 3. I know it's very little but that is all she had."

Gibbs turned back to return to his desk. Upon sitting down he brushed his hand through his sleek, silver hair and let out a long sigh. He certainly wished that Abby had more information, but it seemed that they'd have to think of something else. "Good work Kate," Gibbs muttered, ashamed of himself for failing to notice his agent in trouble.

It was now seven o'clock that night, and Tony still hadn't gotten back to the Navy Yard. McGee had already handed in his paperwork and headed home, while Gibbs waited for Kate to finish her own. They decided to wait until the next day to call Tony if he didn't show up. "I'm going to go talk to Ducky," Gibbs announced, grabbing his coffee cup and walking out to the elevator. Gibbs was probably going to ask Ducky about any information on the whole Tony fiasco, hoping he had anything to add that might help, anything at all. After a minute, the elevator pinged, catching Kate's attention. She felt her breath hitch in her throat, there he was. Tony walked out of the elevator completely calm and contempt, as if nothing happened.

"Hey Kate," Tony said, slipping into his desk area, collecting all the paperwork he had to do.

"Where the hell were you the whole time Tony?" Kate scolded, she was truly worried about him the whole time and damnit she wanted answers.

"Sorry," Tony apologized, "had to check her into the Bethesda mental ward. She wanted me there with her as she was getting her first psych evaluation, for support and stuff. I also had to take her to a café, remember I said the two of us would get coffee?"

Have a cup of coffee with me? Kate's mind flashed to the scene on the bridge, hearing Tony's plea in her mind. "Yeah, but did it really take that long?"

"Yeah, she wanted me there with her until visiting hours were up, so I stayed. Sorry for worrying you."

"It's fine, the whole revealing you trying to kill yourself thing had me worrying you would try after you got her to the hospital. We all thought it would be best if we left you alone though, let you deal with it on your own like you always do," Kate said softly, sounding as soothing as possible.

"Look Kate, I have to tell you something. There is Tony DiNozzo the man, and Tony DiNozzo the character. The one you saw out there on that bridge today was Tony DiNozzo the character."

"What are you saying Tony?" Kate asked looking at him.

Tony looked back into her eyes, and without a falter in his voice he said, "Kate, I made it up."

"What? How?" Kate stumbled over her words.

"When I first became a cop, I received crisis negotiation training, specializing in suicide prevention. I created that story to connect with the victim before they really become a victim and get them to come down. That's how I was able to take charge of the situation." Tony let his words sink in before continuing. "I'm sorry for worrying you over nothing Kate, really I am."

"Oh," was all Kate could throw out of her mouth. She was dumbfounded to be played into his hand again. Although, now she didn't know where he was coming from, whether this was a cover up or not.

"I'm also sorry for this morning." Kate redirected her focus on his eyes, shining with the deepest apology, one that couldn't be put into words. "You see, when I was in Baltimore, before I met Gibbs, I had a drug bust and some shit went down. I got those scars; my partner at the time lost his life. I'm very self-conscious about the scars. I use a special ointment that makes it not too noticeable and I ran out this morning, so that was why I was pissed off. Whenever I see the scars I think of how I lost my friend that day, while I only got stitches and a concussion."

"Tony, one question. How did you know the right words? How to say the right words at the right time?" Kate asked, her voice soft and slightly above a whisper.

Tony stood from his desk, looking away from Kate; instead choosing to settle his gaze on his paperwork. "She is one of the silent ones."

"Hm?"

Tony took a brief moment without saying anything, thinking how he should explain. "It's the silent ones who hurt the most, who suffer the most. They hide behind a mask, choosing to suffer in silence. They feel like they aren't worth anything. They want help, they really do, so they slowly reach their arm out of that cold, dark abyss and hope, pray that someone notices, and is willing, to take their hand."

Kate took a deep breath, his words having such an effect on her body, on her soul. "What do you mean by slowly?"

"Well, you see Kate, what they'll do to hint that there's a problem is let up their shield, ever so slightly, and let the real them shine for just a moment. Funny thing is, is that if whoever sees it doesn't help the way the victim wants, they'll shut the door and deadbolt it. It's selfish, I know, but if they don't get the person to try and help the way they want, they get scared and can't help but react that way."

"It's fascinating how people can actually feel like they don't deserve to be happy."

Tony bolted his eyes into her own, his stare, while not looking particularly angry, perhaps a little upset, had penetrated into her soul. "What's that supposed to mean Kate?"

"Well, I don't mean fascinating as in interesting like some doctor who doesn't care about his patients, and cares only about figuring out what they have. Like solving the puzzle so to speak. I mean fascinating as in it's sad, and I wish I could understand so I can help someone. Like you did."

Tony gathered up the unfinished paperwork, threw the stacks of paper in a folder, and placed it into his bag. "It doesn't take much to help someone Kate. All it takes is a couple kind words to brighten someone's day. Just doing that is saving someone; just doing that is making a difference." Tony tossed his bag over his shoulder, letting out a slight groan. "I'm going to have so much work to do at home, so I guess I'll head out now. See you tomorrow."

"Bye Tony. Night."

"Tony made his way to the elevator, suddenly stopping. "Oh before I forget," Tony turned around and looked Kate right in the eyes, with the most serious stare she had ever seen from anyone. "You are an incredibly beautiful woman Kate. Don't ever, _ever_; let anyone convince you otherwise, not McGee, not Gibbs, not even me. You are not only beautiful as a woman, but as a person. You are so kind, and caring; it is truly a privilege to know you Kate."

Kate could feel a large smile spread across her lips, her heart racing with joy. "Thank you Tony."

"I'll see you around Kate." Tony turned, waving goodbye.

"You too Tony," Kate replied, calling out to him. His words…they were too…too detailed to be taught to him, Kate thought. She didn't believe him 100% about what he said about making up the background for Anthony DiNozzo the character. Kate knew he was right about helping someone; it didn't take much to accomplish. She knew there was something bothering him; she could see it in his eyes. Right as she gathered her things together to head on out herself, upon shutting off her computer she vowed to find out what Tony was hiding, and mend his broken spirits. She'd be there for not only her partner, but for her friend and crush, the man with such truly captivating eyes.


End file.
